Peace and Hope

Hope is really rooted in personally knowing the God committed to a good end for you, even if it sometimes seems nobody else is. He has given me this promise: (It makes all my hard work and waiting worth it all!)

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

Jeremiah 31:17
And there is hope in thine end, saith the LORD, that thy children shall come again to their own border.
Jeremiah 17:7
Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.

1 Peter 1:13
Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

Revelation 22:12
And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.

Psalm 31:24
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.
 

Lamentations 3:26
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

2 Thessalonians 2:16
Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace,

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To Move or Not to Move

It is a good idea to be ready for change when what you are doing is not really working, but then, who defines what is working? There are several considerations, and those chosen as top priorities may require a sacrifice to keep them at the top of the list. Family is a top consideration for me, and to be near my children, I have been choosing until now, NOT to move. I think I will stay here by default until I am forced to move, or until I find an open door and path to a new place God may show me--- the idea being to increase my income and reduce my cost of living so that I can get out of debt and, in the long run, be free to REALLY spend time with my family like I do not really get to do NOW.

I am sort of looking around, but what holds me to this place is the familiarity and comfort of my hometown (despite the hardships), the fact of my family living here and my having gotten well adjusted in two part time jobs, working sixty to seventy hours per week, not such an easy thing to do. Any change is stressful, even if it is a good change, and I like to be sure it is for a good reason, most importantly that God has called me to move. It is hard to hear His voice calling me to any place where my children are NOT, but it could happen. I formerly turned down a nanny job out east that offered me a live in position, as much money as I make from both of my jobs plus room and board. If I had taken it, I might have saved over $100,000 already, but I would have missed some special moments in the lives of my children.

Sometimes I think maybe He has called me to move, at least to a heated room for rent, cheap, or a heated garage where I can park my van and sleep in it, because if He wanted me to stay here, why would He not supply the means to be a good steward of this house? It is only a tiny, one bedroom house, but it needs renovation before the insurance company or the bank will look at it, the roof leaks, the siding and roof and garage door need to be replaced, and the contract for deed balloons next spring. Before I can take on such a project, I surely need to pay off my debts and rebuild my FICO score, or the bank will not be interested at all. That is the question looming big in the back of my mind: should I take on such a project, just me, all alone, in a desperate attempt to get stabilized back into equity and be near my children? Hmmm...

Perhaps, like so many others I have heard the stories about,  I could embrace the spirit of adventure in overcoming adversity and be willing to sleep in my van and take my showers at a local gym or health club, so that everything I earn can go to paying off my debts? I have been considering it, and it is very tempting, to get out from under the heavy burden I am bearing for no apparent purpose except to make other people richer and me poorer. The Bible says to owe nobody anything except love, and that is what I am hearing from everyone in my personal circles, too.

At the moment, it seems that one of the main things people want from me is MONEY. Money for personal loan repayments, student loans, mortgage payments, insurance, credit card payments, and anything at all that I need to do, so I found out, while it is not good to love MONEY, it sure does come in handy as a tool with which to love PEOPLE. They understand love and kindness by my willingness to cheerfully and generously hand over money without complaint, I have noticed. There are those, few and far between, who like me for myself and do not want my money, and I very much appreciate them. But my time is sold out to earn money for those that want money from me. I want to make this process as short and quick and painless as possible, just because I have other things to do besides work, work, work to earn as much money as it will take to get out of debt and be self supporting by forced retirement age.

I cannot BOTH keep this house (renovate and refinance it) AND pay off all my debts, along with just starting out to learn how to be a businesswoman; it takes time and money to make money, and it takes much more than I have right now to renovate an old house, rebuild a smashed FICO score, and talk a bank into taking on a contract they have indicated they do not want to take on.

Which means I may well have to move, and I am looking. At this point, that is all I know. I have been seriously investigating just how it is that homeless people get by.

Doing Hard Things

There is a book challenging young people to raise the standard higher. It is called, "Do Hard Things." I was raised to do the hard things. I am doing a hard thing right now, staying single until death do us part while my unfaithful husband looks around for a relationship to fill that hole inside that only God can fill. I am praying for Him, not because I long to have him back, only because I long for Him to know the true God and have that empty hole inside of Him filled so he can be content in his true, God given calling.

From my perspective, the spirit of the times has eroded knowledge of God and replaced it with the sort of knowledge that the scripture calls "Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." 2 Timothy 3:7

These are the last days in which "many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased." Daniel 12:4

But to this day, even now, the scoffers of 2 Peter 3:3 ("Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts," saying "Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.") may only scoff until they face God in person, and at that time they will bow the knee and call Him Lord of Lords.

Jesus said He is the Truth. He was, is, and always will be the main truth I need to know. John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.John 14:5-7

There are so many hard things in life. God allows them, but He uses them to test and mold His people into His image. I know His Spirit in me is infinitely more valuable than temporal comforts. This is knowledge not many people have these days, but once they have it in their hearts, they become part of the body of Christ ministering the only real hope there is to this dark world. I think of that calling every day as I struggle against affliction and weakness. I comfort myself with His promises. He has not forgotten me. I can sense Him watching me, walking with me in my troubles.

He is helping me, moment by moment, to be adequate and fully equipped for what He wants me to do on this earth. I have a calling, and He is the One who called me. I have a calling to do the hard things when the going gets tough. Without hope of His reward, I might not do the hard things. His is the reward worth it all. Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.Ephesians 2:9-11 Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.  1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.    Revelation 22:7 Behold, I come quickly: blessed is he that keepeth the sayings of the prophecy of this book. Revelation 22:12 And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.   Revelation 22:20  He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus

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You Are Not Alone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI7zjPuVsCU

My daughter, Anna and her friend, Delight, were part of this tour, both singing in this video. It is a special memory, and this song is beautiful. To cherish, to play again and again.